Simple personalized wrapping paper

You know you're cheap when . . . you won't pay for a dollar store gift bag and card for a graduation gift.

Normally, The Dollar Tree is my favorite frugal source for getting a gift together. But, when the graduation gifts mount to three or four at a time, even the cheapo cards and bags start to add up. Plus, it's easy to mix the gifts up when it's three identical gifts being carted off to one shared graduation party.

So we made personalized wrapping paper and cards using Microsoft Word, tape, scissors and a cut-up black folder.

Simply repeat the recipient's name over and over in a Word document. (If you like, add a big set of initials as we did.) Print and tape a few together.

We cut vaguely card-shaped rectangles out of the black folder, folded them in half and added white paper to the inside to make cards.

Instructions for making the ribbon are here.

The wrapping was a surprise hit of the party. People came over and took pictures of it.

They were obviously unfamiliar with the depths that some people will go to save a buck.

Goodwill Fishing

Here's my haul from the Goodwill store in Bonita Springs, Florida. We took a trip there with the folks a few weeks ago. Don't adjust your monitor settings. Everything really is grey or black. I got:

• new black peeptoe flats - walkable and cute.
• a grey comfy work dress
• a ruffled sweater by the British label Wrap (My mom actually found this.)
• a set of of white sailcloth curtains (Not pictured. Yet.)

Bonita Springs has a whole strip of great thrift stores. Here's my Bromeliad Living tip for the week when it comes to thrift shopping. Don't buy stuff just because it's cheap. Only buy what's cheap and fabulous. Lots of cheap adds up to expensive and then a need to clean the closet and give a pile to Goodwill.

We also enjoyed the beach.

And fishing with these guys.

Moroccan style lanterns circa the 1960s

The longer you look at something you grabbed from the trash the more it loses its luster.

These three brass pendant lights caught my eye because I've been wanting a Moroccan lantern of some sort and the filigree seemed to have potential. Plus there was something so fabulously awful about them, all blue plastic encrusted and ready to hang in Barbie's Dream Harem.

Now they look to me like headgear for Sauron's henchmen.

What do you think? Should I attempt a de-bling? Embrace them as they are? (after a better cleaning.) Or quietly put them right back where I found them?

Frugal family photos

This week the Obamas posted their first official family photo. Maybe this is the year you won't be booking time with Annie Leibovitz yourself. Here are a few tips for getting some decent DIY family portraits:

• Have everyone dress in the same color.
• Take advantage of natural light and shoot outdoors if possible.

• Don't choose sunset on the beach
  

• If you did and the light is too harsh, consider converting your photos to black and white. They look OK when contrast-y, and they hide sunburn.
  
  

Via economics

What a fun, fun weekend. The sun finally came out. And, courtesy of Starbucks, we:

• consumed 14 Dixie cups of free coffee
• tagged the new Via instant coffee every time
• received seven free packets of Via Italian roast
• collected coupons for eight free cups of real coffee between now and mid-November
• met three nice young Starbucks people
• learned all about micro-grinding
• Bought a three-pack of Via Italian roast (with a dollar-off coupon) for $2.
• got the shakes and a bit of headache
  

Street find: West Elm bed frame

Last month while the rest of my family was partying at the Outer Banks, we found the perfect anniversary gift sitting on the sidewalk in Brooklyn Heights, which turned out to be our best trash-picked item since the HGTV-featured Danish cabinet. So glad we stayed in New York, where the streets are paved with case goods.

I saw this bed frame on the street while on my way to my lunchtime workout. I called Tom to see if he could stop by and evaluate it. By the time I got back from the exercise class, the frame was gone. Tom consoled me by speculating it came from a bedbug-infested crack den.

When I got home that night, there was the bed frame. Tom had carried it home by himself, fractured ankle and all. The previous owner was moving to Manhattan and didn't want to bother with dismantling the frame so it would fit in his car.

The bed ended up being a queen, same as our mattress. It also looks very much like the $300 West Elm bed frame I've been mooning over for three years while getting by with a bed skirt made from a curtain and safety pins. Personally, I prefer a bed where you can see the feet - some air flow at floor level makes a room feel lighter and less crowded.

Here's our next dilemma. Box spring or no box spring? The only blogger I've seen weighing in on this subject is Nick Olsen, who says either way is fine, just don't leave the box spring exposed. What do you all think? Nox with a box? Or not? The first pic is with the box spring. The second is without.

Mystery objects

One of the fun things about acquiring items from the street is trying to figure out what on earth they are.

The top item was found inside a cute black Liz Claiborne purse I picked up. The round piece has a felted bottom, and the wire-y part swivels. I had to ask about 45 people before I found out what it was. What's your guess? (I'll give you the answer at the bottom of this post.)

The next item is something I picked up yesterday. I found all of these glass pieces in a shoebox labeled 'glass parts from hallway chandelier' so obviously they are parts of a chandelier. The beveled glass panels I get. What I do not get are the 98 glass swizzle sticks. Where do they fit in? (I have yet to find the non-glass parts of this chandelier and have no idea what I'm going to do with these orphaned pieces. Any ideas?)



(Drum roll.) The first item is a purse hook. You slide it over the edge of a table and hook your purse underneath so it doesn't have to touch the floor. La-de-da.

Have you ever found a mystery object?

Real Simple for $5

At amazon.com. One year for five bucks. Via slickdeals.net.

Craigslist Cottage

Love this because half the items pictured came from the street (table, stools, coffee table) and the rest from Craigslist. See the full story in The New York Times. Then again, this is a second home. It's probably still tacky to street-furnish your first and only home.

Lunch Money

"f you need to be told that packing your lunch saves money, you're probably not someone who needs to pack your lunch. "

Kelly Marages,

I'm not Buying Recession Chic

The Washington Post

Recessionista: Used to buy lunch but now packs to save money for a down payment on Jimmy Choos.

Frugal: Always packed.

Frugerati: Always packed. Uses Chinese takeout containers and SnackShack tubs. Lunch must contain one of the following: Arugula, bruchetta, capers, cilantro, cranberries, couscous, espresso, feta, focaccia, smoked oysters, tabbouleh, dark chocolate.

How about you? Pack or buy?

Found items

How to fulfill any bower bird instincts without spending a dime. These I qualify as "give aways" rather than trash picks because they were not technically in the trash. I uncovered them in a shared area of our building complex where residents can drop off unwanted items. Most of it is junk. If I go every day and find four things a month I'm doing good.

I found the silver dish and stones on separate occasions.

A black glass dish. Had never seen one before.

This next one requires explanation. Why a wig head? I don't wear wigs. Maybe it reminded me of my grandma Ada, who had a collection of red wigs and wig heads. I let it sit for two days before bringing it home.

Now I have a place to display my mom's totally retro cool sunglasses. The chain drapes over your ears to create sunglasses and earrings. (Yes, I do wear them on occasion. No, the scarf is not hers.)

The great thing about picking up junk for free is that I can enjoy it awhile and then have no problem giving it away later since it cost me nothing - my frail hedge against hoarding.

Best trash pick ever

What's the best thing you've ever dug out of the trash? Come on, admit it. We've all trash picked - taken on the most frugal of frugal design options, found something great on the curb and dragged it home without making eye contact with anyone. Yes, yes. You have, too.

Over the years, we've found some good stuff being tossed out by somebody else - the sheesham wood screen we use as a headboard, the teak lounge chair on our deck, and . . . the best ever - a Danish rosewood cabinet similar to this one.

Tom made some repairs to it, and we sold it to William Van Roden, an art director for Martha Stewart's Everyday Food magazine, who lived in DUMBO at the time. It paid for a trip to Hawaii.

Here's the best part - about six months later we see Will and his cabinet on Small Space, Big Style - our cabinet on one of the coolest home decorating shows. (Unfortunately, I couldn't find the episode on HGTV's bloated web site. So, William, if you have an RSS feed going on your name, tell us the episode.)

Here's some tips on making the most of your next curb alert or dumpster dive:

• Hold your head high. Your actions will probably prevent global warming.
• Grab first, think later. If you end up not liking what you got - throw it away.
• Quarantine your new item to avoid unwanted invaders.
• Be careful. My friend Sue broke her ankle trying to drag a headboard out of a dumpster, amassing thousands of dollars in medical bills. (Good news: She later found a headboard for $30 at Housing Works.)
• And, as always, arrive early for the best selection.

Starbucks home brew cup quote

"February is the season of small sorrows when everyone feels middle-aged even if you are 16."

GARRISON KEILLOR

That was kind of lame

How about another one?

"This may be a broad statement, but . . . I don't like Europeans."

CARL BALDWIN

UNCLE

Starbucks home brew cup quote

Sorry, gotten behind on these.

"As much as I loved other people, there always came a point when I thought they should go home."

NOVELIST ANN PATCHETT

Buying some chocolate-covered happiness

"Considerable evidence suggests that if we use an increase in our incomes, as many of us do, simply to buy bigger houses and more expensive cars, then we do not end up any happier than before. But if we use an increase in our incomes to buy more of certain inconspicuous goods - such as freedom from a long commute or a stressful job - then the evidence paints a very different picture."

Robert H. Frank, Daedalus, 2004

My income increased this week by $50 due to the good folks at Dodge being willing to give me some money to test drive a Ram truck, a Ram truck being a practical vehicle for someone living in Brooklyn who would make a trip to a Dodge dealership just to get $50.

I spent all of it this weekend and then some. As follows:

$30 - wobbly wrought-iron coffee table from Housing Works thrift shop

$2 - A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius

$17 - 2 lbs Sahadis espresso malted milk balls, 1 lb dark chocolate covered raisins

$10 - snow leopard print skirt from Housing Works

$10 - 4 boxes Barilla multigrain pasta that I thought was on sale 4 for $5

$4 - O at Home magazine

Total: $73

But am I happy?

Carrying the coffee table down Montague Street with Tom, I was not happy. Later, when he fixed the wobbliness and we confirmed that I had indeed purchased a splendid table for such a low price, I was filled with joy.

Then Tom left town for two days and I did what I often do when blessed with an opportunity for productive solitude: eat, spend money, stay up late, eat, spend more money, rearrange the furniture.

I made a big dent in the choco raisins. The leopard skirt is too tight. The novel is depressing. I need a cigarette, even though I don't smoke. Thinking about switching the end tables. Forgot about my O magazine. Joy! Tom will be home in 17 more hours. Sure hope the money holds out.

A moment of silence for Value City

Before there was TJ Maxx, before there was Kohls, there was Value City. I spent about 147,235 hours of my childhood and teenager years in the Canton, Ohio, store. The cashiers all knew my mom by name. Cartloads of clothes. Cat fights in the aisles. Detritus* on the shelves. I didn't appreciate what we had at the time.

*Note to Pennsylvania Dutch readers: Deh-TRY-Tus.

Why I'm just chipper about the economy

So, enough of toss pillows and dishware for awhile. How about the economy?

Social psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky in a recent New York Times Op-Ed piece explains why I have trouble getting down about the world financial crisis.

"Because the news these days affects everyone, " she writes. "We care more about social comparison, status and rank than about the absolute value of our bank accounts or reputations. . . . In a world in which just about all of us have seen our retirement savings and home values plummet, it’s no wonder that we all feel surprisingly O.K."

Sonja's got my number. In fact, I'm not just OK, I'm downright giddy. I don't even have a retirement savings nor do I own a home. Now I've got all kinds of company down here at the bottom of several socio-economic indicators. We should throw a party. (I'll bring the lentils and off-brand soda.)

On the other hand, Gallup's annual Lifestyle Poll, conducting just a month, ago says our personal satisfaction rating is the lowest it's been since 1992. Lest you think this is because big hair is coming back (the major reason I could think of for life dissatisfaction in 1992), that's the year Gallup started this poll.

For all you newbie broke people out there, speaking as a person who's been broke since Brad met Jennifer, I'll testify that being lower income can be fun.

(Before Jeffery Sachs jumps down my throat, I'd like to take a moment to define being broke versus being poor versus being dirt poor.

• Poor is being forced to live in a high-crime neighborhood because you can't afford rent anywhere else.
• Dirt poor is eating corn kernels blown off trucks, like Zimbaweans are doing right now.
• Broke is not having a cell phone because you refuse to pay for the service. Which is also cheap. (Unless you don't have a cell phone because the service is expensive and you think cell phones cause memory loss, which is frugal and perhaps prudent. Or unless you don't want to pay for cell phone service and you think that when you are away from home you should be attending to your environment, not speaking in a very loud voice to your own head, which is frugerati.) But I digress.)

In her blog post How To Remain Happy When the Financial World Crumbles, Sonja says the happiest people take a bad situation and turn it into a transformative experience. And that's the whole point of this blog. We bromeliads take being broke as a challenge, one that inspires ingenuity and creativity.

And if that doesn't cheer us up, there are always new toss pillows at Target.

Frugerati - you heard it here first

The folks over at slate.com posted a story on frugality websites and blogs, the difference between being frugal and being cheap, and why being a snob will hurt you during a recession.

That's the disappointing thing about the Internet - you think you're slightly original and then you find out there is an entire online community dedicated to your individual quirk. I used to think I was the only person who obsessed over what chairs to put with a Docksta table (and who recognized it as a Saarinen knockoff), until I stumbled on apartmenttherapy.com. It turns out there are about a million of us.



Now, with the economy in the toilet, everybody is frugal. So, just for the record, I've decided this is not a frugality blog.

• First of all, frugal is such an ewww word. It has a ring of deprivation to it.


• Cost-savings tips are boring. (Pay off your credit card. Cook lentils. Zzzzzz.)


• I am a snob. I just happen to be a broke snob.
  

So, what is Bromeliad Living if it's not a frugality blog? It's about the stuff I've enjoyed on other people's blogs:

• amusing commentary


• aesthetically pleasing do-it-yourself projects


• pretty pictures


• good deals


• pretty pictures


• useful information

It's about enjoying beautiful things and fun experiences independent of income. It's equal parts frugality and elitism.

It's the beginning of. . . the frugerati.

Ha, finally my own digital niche. Go ahead, Google it. It ain't out there.

Hands off that craft kit

According to The New York Times, craft stores had higher sales this year because people were trying to save money by making homemade gifts. This is a bad idea for a number of reasons:

1. You and your glue gun cannot beat out East Asia on price.

2. Crafting is a lot like auditioning for American Idol or wearing a thong to the beach - one of those things that many try but few can pull off with dignity. Unless you graduated from art school or are part of that .2% of the human population with real talent, your craft will be ugly. Trust me on this. It will also tend to be of a useless nature.

3. Ugly crafts are only appreciated when given by children. (Valerie, if you ever happen to read this - You know that seashell topiary I gave you? Get rid of it. I don't know what I was thinking.)

4. Because craft supply people know all about point 2, they try to make crafts that even an idiot could do. Don't you feel silly punching fancy holes in paper? Making a little house out of foam? You should.

If you really want something cheap and sustainable, give a pre-owned gift. My mother is the queen of second-hand gifts, which is why there's an Ann Taylor cashmere sweater hanging in my closet, my friends receive vintage jewelry, and my baby cousins get new-to-them toys and books every week. Nobody sniffs at the lavender Goodwill tag she sometimes forgets to peel off the bottom. The gifts are higher quality than we cheap people would normally buy and often one of a kind. If we don't like them, we give them to somebody else.

The creativity comes in sifting out the right item for the right person, which means digging through a lot of junk, a craft of its own. If you're new to this, here are a few tips to get you started:

• Never pass up a free or extremely cheap basket. Baskets are great for corraling a bunch of small interesting things that aren't enough for a gift on their own. Don't buy a new basket. America is filled with baskets.


• Never pass up a decent picture frame. Rip out the ugly picture that's in it and order a flattering print of your friend, her kids, her dog, house or whatever. If you must glue something to it, make it easy to pick off.


• Save shower gift sets. They make great regifted gifts for the purpose of regifting. Nobody actually uses a shower set. They put it in a drawer for when they need a gift.


• It must be clean and undamaged. Bonus points if it still has the tags. Double bonus points if the tag says Bloomingdales.